Why is asking for help such a difficult thing to do? Is it difficult for you? It is for me.
This past week I was summoned for jury duty. My husband was out of town, I had called in four times and had been put on "standby" so I thought I was going to be dismissed. And then I wasn't. At 6:00 PM, I found out I had to appear at 7:30 AM the next day. I had a yoga class to teach at 8 and my son had to be at school by 8:30. My parents and In-laws don't live in town and I was pretty sure that I was not going to be able to clone myself. So, I sat. And I stewed. And I got a bit teary out of frustration. And then I asked for help. And, of course, Miguel and Anjelica were MORE than happy to help. Their son and mine are besties and "wouldn't this be great to hang out before going to school". Disaster averted.
Although I know better, my initial reaction to having to ask for help is "I should be able to do this on my own." That ugly "Should" word. Ugh.
The next one? " I don't want to be a "burden." Double ugh.
And after I got off the phone, I thought "That was SO easy. Why do I torture myself before picking up that phone?" I mean, if the tables were turned, I would most certainly help out... no question.
Are there areas that you need help or support but you aren't asking for it?
Here are a series of questions for you to ponder.
1. Is there an area of your life that you are in need of support or help? This could be folding laundry or picking up dog poop or leaving a marriage or quitting an addiction.
2. Why are you unable to ask for that help or support? Is it because you think you should be able to do it all? Because asking would make you weak or vulnerable? Are you fearful that when you ask, you might be told "no" or rejected?
3. How does it feel in your gut, in your heart, when you ask for that help? Close your eyes. Imagine asking for help in the particular situation that you are thinking of.
4. Think of the times that you were asked to help others. What did that feel like in your heart and your soul?
5. Who do you need to ask for help or support?
When we ask for help, we open ourselves up to receive. We allow others to be of service and open their hearts up to giving. We cannot know everything (I know, it's true.) There is an abundance of help all around us. When we allow ourselves to ask, to be vulnerable, to be openhearted, you will be more aware of that abundance.
Ask for help. Reach out. Pick up the phone. You will never experience the deepened friendships, relationships or community if you never ask. Most importantly, you will never know the personal growth and freedom that comes with just asking.